After reading both of these double page spreads in their entirety I decided to draft my own standing paragraph and interview; the standing paragraph addresses the reader directly and is placed just before the article or interview.
Every once in a while an artist comes to light and simply blows everyone's socks off, shame we don't have one of them on speed dial, just kidding. Popular magazine presents you with Cantatio Dicta, an uprising pop star in the music industry that had an unusual start in the business.First working with a fourth of the Black Eyed Peas, before that a bog
standard citizen and an annoying sibling, her words not ours. Before you ask Cantatio Dicta isn't her real name which she secretly reveals in the following interview...
Q - First off, lovely to meet you, this is an honor for me,
how did you initially begin in the music industry?
A - At first I was a backup dancer for Will.I.am and any
associated artists, truthfully I was mainly backup dancing but I tried
to help out wherever I could.
Q - How did you get a job as one fourth of the Black Eyed
Peas’ backup dancer?
A - Ha, lol, nice one. Will.I.am noticed me through Face
book, so thank you Mark Zuckerburg for that, but he wouldn’t have noticed me if
my sister hadn’t gone behind my back and uploaded that one video that I asked
her not to.
Q - I feel like you have something to get off your chest, so
I’ll ask, and I don’t mean to pry but, what video would that be?
A - It was a video that I asked my sister to film on my
birthday; I was just messing about, dancing to the groove, feeling the beat,
all the other cheesy cliches. After I reviewed it I was so embarrassed by it I
specifically and explicitly told her to delete it but siblings will be siblings
and I don’t know how on earth she did it (I’m not at all tech savvy), she
deleted it in front of me and somehow managed to upload it to Face book.
Q - Do you perhaps think that before you reviewed it she
might have made a backup?
A - It’s possible but like I said I’m no tech genius.
Q - Were you at all angry about her uploading it?
A - At first yes, I was steaming mad; you know like in
cartoons when a character gets angry smoke come out of their ears I was like
that, however when I realized it was too late and the whole world could see it
I calmed down and harassed her... verbally, of course.
Q - How can you harass someone verbally?
A - I screamed at her, she ended up balling her eyes out. It
was a harmless joke but I tend to overreact... a lot; in fact I think I fired
several staff members because of my overreactions. I always feel bad afterwards
but sometimes I’m a bit of a Hulk I simply can’t control my rage.
Q - This leads me on to next big
question; what’s in a name, particularly yours; how did you find the oddest
pair of words?
A - I found it through a game
called Google whack.
Q - I’m sorry what’s Google
whack?
A - Simply put, Google whack is
when you Google something and only one result pops up.
Q - How did you come about this
Google game?
A - Through comedy, more or
less. I was surfing through the recommendations on my YouTube page when I came
across something called ‘Dave Gorman’s Google whack Adventure’ which almost
immediately peaked my interest. The video was an hour long and it was so late
at night but I couldn’t help myself, I was intrigued and curious; I clicked on
the video and was hooked for the whole thing, that man really knows how to
nitpick. Anyways I tried to find a Google whack of my own, which, little did I
realize, that would be nearly impossible considering how much information is
now on the internet.
Q - And was Cantatio Dicta one
of those Google whacks?
A - No, I came across it by
luck! What went through my head was a thought that practically no one speaks
Latin anymore so I’ll Google translate the word Hip Hop, my favorite type of
music, to Latin and see if that’s a
Google whack... it wasn’t but it was quite a cool phrase and a mouthful.
Q - How did that name stick?
A - I started teasing my friends
saying that it was a hard tongue-twister; everyone I asked found it easy to say
and started teasing me back, calling me ‘Cantatio Dicta’ and the name stuck.
But that’s just when I was a back-up dancer, it started on stage when on my
first gig Will.I.am introduced me by my nickname, I then corrected him, said my
real name and went on with the show. My second gig, I was still being introduced
as ‘Cantatio Dicta’ and I thought why not keep the name, it sounds a lot cooler
than Zara Smith.
Q - Speaking of on stage, you
always look fabulous on it, which segways to my next question. Do you have any
beauty tips or do you have someone who does all the hair and make up for you?
A - I do have some tips but when
on stage I insist on not having any make up on and, before you ask, it’s for a
reason; there are bright lights on stage, along with singing and dancing, I
sweat quite a bit, particularly in the facial region, which would make the
make-up run. So unless you can play a gig in the dark or make lights that don’t
melt your face off then I might start wearing make-up on stage. Ok, I needed to
rant a bit, on to my top five tips.
1. Never mix dark and light shades of anything.
2. Cut onions before using an eyelash curler.
3. When using any kind of make-up make sure, just like when painting, to wipe
your brushes in between each color.
4. Lip balm only moisturizes your lips it’s not meant to be lip stick.
5. If you can’t find a mirror then use a window or any other reflective
surface.
Q - Do you go to the gym at all
because I imagine because of social norms there might be some pressure on you
to do so?
A - I do go to the gym but not
because of... what you just said. No I go to the gym for me and no one but me
and because of my job I can get premium membership and some sweet gear. I
remember one time I took my sister to the gym and she was one hell of a wimp;
she had absolutely no stamina, she hardly did anything for the whole day. I was
majorly disappointed but I couldn’t say I was surprised; it’s not out of
character for her to be a lazy git.
Q - That’s a bit harsh. Your
fans would like to know what your gym routine is like.
A - First I run then I swim and
finally I walk. Let me explain; I first use the treadmill for about half an
hour steadily increasing the speed, then I swim because it relaxes me and
finally I walk home to get more exercise.
Q - Last question, if you could
time travel would you go to the future or the past?
A - In the past there are too
many ways to muck everything up without knowing it but if I went to the future
I wouldn’t know what to expect therefore less opportunity to mess up the
timeline. But that’s theoretically speaking, in reality I wouldn’t because it’s
not possible.