- Do your research on the person. Well that's easy she's made up so I'll make it up as I go along.
- Write down your objective for the interview. Which is to show a major insight into this character.
- Ask open-ended questions.
- Ask a reflection question.
- Write down questions you know the answer to.
- Ask questions that elicit an emotional response.
Q - First off, lovely to meet you, this is an honour for me, how did you initially begin in the music industry?
A - At first I was a backup dancer for Will.I.am and any associated artists, truthfully I was mainly backup dancing but I tried to help out wherever I could.
Q - How did you get a job as one fourth of the Black Eyed Peas’ backup dancer?
A - Ha, lol, nice one. Will.I.am noticed me through Face book, so thank you Mark Zuckerburg for that, but he wouldn’t have noticed me if my sister hadn’t gone behind my back and uploaded that one video that I asked her not to.
Q - I feel like you have something to get off your chest, so I’ll ask, and I don’t mean to pry but, what video would that be?
A - It was a video that I asked my sister to film on my birthday; I was just messing about, dancing to the groove, feeling the beat, all the other cheesy cliches. After I reviewed it I was so embarrassed by it I specifically and explicitly told her to delete it but siblings will be siblings and I don’t know how on earth she did it (I’m not at all tech savvy), she deleted it in front of me and somehow managed to upload it to Face book.
Q - Do you perhaps think that before you reviewed it she might have made a backup?
A - It’s possible but like I said I’m no tech genius.
Q - Were you at all angry about her uploading it?
A - At first yes, I was steaming mad; you know like in cartoons when a character gets angry smoke come out of their ears I was like that, however when I realized it was too late and the whole world could see it I calmed down and harassed her... verbally, of course.
Q - How can you harass someone verbally?
A - I screamed at her, she ended up balling her eyes out. It was a harmless joke but I tend to overreact... a lot; in fact I think I fired several staff members because of my overreactions. I always feel bad afterwards but sometimes I’m a bit of a Hulk I simply can’t control my rage.
Q - This leads me on to next big question; what’s in a name, particularly yours; how did you find the oddest pair of words?
A - I found it through a game called Google whack.
Q - I’m sorry what’s Google whack?
A - Simply put, Google whack is when you Google something and only one result pops up.
Q - How did you come about this Google game?
A - Through comedy, more or less. I was surfing through the recommendations on my YouTube page when I came across something called ‘Dave Gorman’s Google whack Adventure’ which almost immediately peaked my interest. The video was an hour long and it was so late at night but I couldn’t help myself, I was intrigued and curious; I clicked on the video and was hooked for the whole thing, that man really knows how to nitpick. Anyways I tried to find a Google whack of my own, which, little did I realize, that would be nearly impossible considering how much information is now on the internet.
Q - And was Cantatio Dicta one of those Google whacks?
A - No, I came across it by luck! What went through my head was a thought that practically no one speaks Latin anymore so I’ll Google translate the word Hip Hop, my favorite type of music, to Latin and see if that’s a Google whack... it wasn’t but it was quite a cool phrase and a mouthful.
Q - How did that name stick?
A - I started teasing my friends saying that it was a hard tongue-twister; everyone I asked found it easy to say and started teasing me back, calling me ‘Cantatio Dicta’ and the name stuck. But that’s just when I was a back-up dancer, it started on stage when on my first gig Will.I.am introduced me by my nickname, I then corrected him, said my real name and went on with the show. My second gig, I was still being introduced as ‘Cantatio Dicta’ and I thought why not keep the name, it sounds a lot cooler than Zara Smith.
Q - Speaking of on stage, you always look fabulous on it, which segways to my next question. Do you have any beauty tips or do you have someone who does all the hair and make up for you?
A - I do have some tips but when on stage I insist on not having any make up on and, before you ask, it’s for a reason; there are bright lights on stage, along with singing and dancing, I sweat quite a bit, particularly in the facial region, which would make the make-up run. So unless you can play a gig in the dark or make lights that don’t melt your face off then I might start wearing make-up on stage. Ok, I needed to rant a bit, on to my top five tips. 1. Never mix dark and light shades of anything. 2. Cut onions before using an eyelash curler. 3. When using any kind of make-up make sure, just like when painting, to wipe your brushes in between each color. 4. Lip balm only moisturizes your lips it’s not meant to be lip stick. 5. If you can’t find a mirror then use a window or any other reflective surface.
Q - Do you go to the gym at all because I imagine because of social norms there might be some pressure on you to do so?
A - I do go to the gym but not because of... what you just said. No I go to the gym for me and no one but me and because of my job I can get premium membership and some sweet gear. I remember one time I took my sister to the gym and she was one hell of a wimp; she had absolutely no stamina, she hardly did anything for the whole day. I was majorly disappointed but I couldn’t say I was surprised; it’s not out of character for her to be a lazy git.
Q - That’s a bit harsh. Your fans would like to know what your gym routine is like.
A - First I run then I swim and finally I walk. Let me explain; I first use the treadmill for about half an hour steadily increasing the speed, then I swim because it relaxes me and finally I walk home to get more exercise.
Q - Last question, if you could time travel would you go to the future or the past?
A - In the past there are too many ways to muck everything up without knowing it but if I went to the future I wouldn’t know what to expect therefore less opportunity to mess up the timeline. But that’s theoretically speaking, in reality I wouldn’t because it’s not possible.
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